Turkey Talk with the Guac

Okay, so now that I'm back, I've been flung back into the world of business. My snotty co-manager of JMN Studios, Guacamolito Scumicimodito, only cares that I'm back so he can film his "finale". He said that since I "left," my contract is "void" and he doesn't have to "pay" me at "all," even though we're "still" filming "the" Judge Mia "finale." Fool. Well, ain't nobody got time fo that! Not only is he going to pay me, but I'm going to convince him to pay me double--no, triple what he said! And also let me decide the finale's plot! I'm on the phone with Guac... "Yo, homeslice! Judgie M here. If chu think that chu can jus scrap mah salary like its yestahday's frahd chicken, chu are steppin in some mahty deep crap!...mm hmm...mm hmm...DON'T CHU USE THAT TONE WIT MAY!!!...mm hmm...mm hmm...mm hmm...we'll meet at El Skunko del Crappo restaurant tomorrow to negotiate mah terms...make it high noon...no, I have a colonoscopy at eleven...who you callin a TMI?...fine, 12:15...okay, okay; 12:05...okay! We'll make it 12:00:01! Sheesh!...See you soon, Guac." I'm hanging up the phone. So I set up a negotiating meeting with Guac about a new contract to make me RICH!!!

The next day at El Skunko del Crappo...

Judge Mia: Long time no maul, Guac.

Guacamolito Majito Scumicimodito III Esquire: Quite.

Judge Mia: Let's get right down to biz.

Guac: Quite.

Judge Mia: I've wrote-d-ed down my terms. Obey or suffer!!!

Guac [reading terms]: "Me want 500% more money, me want to think of finale plot by myself, me want new clown-colored toilet paper." This is RIDICULOUS!!! [Stands up]

Judge Mia: [stands taller than Guac] You dare defy me?!

Guac: DON'T MIND IF I DO!

Judge Mia: Don't test me; I WILL QUIT.

Guac: YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS!!!

Judge Mia: TRY ME!!!!!

Waiter: Welcome to El Skunko del Crappo; my name is Sanchez and I will be your waiter. And what would the happy couple like to drink this fine day?

[Judge Mia and Guac sit down and gently pick up the menu]

Guac: I'll have the iced tea, please.

Waiter [writing down]: Super fabuloso; and you sir?

Judge Mia: I'll just have the water, please. In a sippee cup, please.

Waiter: Excellent choice, my darlings. Your drinks will be ready before you can say r-ri-ri-ri. [Walks away]

[Judge Mia and Guac violently jerk up]

Judge Mia: I demand you subject to my terms or I will QUIT JUDGE MIA!!!

Guac: NEVER!!!!

Judge Mia: SHUT UUUUUUUUUUPPPPP!!!!!!!!!

It pretty much went on like that for a while, until I dumped a piping hot plate of chimichangas on Guac's head and threatened him with a butterknife. Needless to say, he agreed to my terms. What an idiot! That lizard's got more liz than zard...wait, what? Whatever. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO THAT!!!